Thank you to our Guest Contributor Liz Buckley for this amazing article…
Allocation of household chores is one of the biggest causes of conflict in marriage.
If you do some research, you will find that their primary source of stress amongst wives is that their husbands don’t want to share household chores.
Have you just married the love of your life?
Are you excited about living together till death do you part?
Then it is best if you first set some ground rules about household chores.
For newlyweds especially, negotiating household chores can be a bit challenging.
This is because there still might be that anxiety on what your partner will think of you when you bring up such a debate.
But since marriage is a long term commitment and honesty is vital.
Sharing household responsibilities appropriately can significantly improve marital satisfaction.
Here are tips on how to negotiate household chores for newlyweds.
1. A 50-50 Split is Not The Answer…
Recent studies have shown that splitting housework evenly is likely to cause divorce.
The issue at hand isn’t the household chores but mostly the dynamics involved in the negotiation.
The moment you and your spouse starts keeping scores in such matters, the chances of conflicting arising are high.
To achieve a well-organized home, every partner should dedicate their full efforts.
Working together as a team will ensure household chores are done perfectly.
Remember, it’s your home, and therefore it’s your chores.
2. Honour Your Spouses Preferences…
Each person does have at least one type of household chores that they do not like.
For instance, you could enjoy doing laundry but dislike washing the dishes.
Did you know that you can use household chores to demonstrate love?
For newlyweds, feel free to ask your spouse the chores they do not like.
And, honour their preference.
This will ensure that your partner is always enthusiastic about completing their chores.
3. Embrace Specialization and Let Go of Stereotypes…
When negotiating household chores, you should embrace specialization and forget about gender stereotypes.
We are living in a modern era that isn’t defined by stereotypes. It is best if you split chores depending on one’s area of specialization.
Is your spouse the best vacuum expert or cook?
Then that task should be granted to them, and you can pick something that you are passionate about.
Note that, the chore assigned to your spouse should be done how and when they deem fit.
And any corrections should be made politely.
4. Come Up with A Timetable…
Let’s face it.
There is nothing more disappointing than vacuuming the house when your family members are on their phones or watching TV.
It’s a bit demoralizing.
To avoid this, you and your spouse can come up with a timetable that will govern when to do the chores you have been allocated.
5. Anticipate Roadblocks and Create Room for Evaluation…
As you have probably heard, marriage does have its fair share of challenges.
And, household chores are a contributing factor to these difficulties.
As you negotiate chores with your spouse, you should anticipate running into roadblocks.
There are some days when your partner will be too lazy to work or may feel reluctant about a particular chore.
You should create room for evaluation and adjustments.
For chores that you both don’t like, you could do them together as a team.
This might even end up strengthening your bond.
The Bottom Line…
For newlyweds, negotiating household chores is not easy.
As much as chores need to be done, they can drive a wedge between you and your spouse.
This is why you should make use of the above tips when negotiating household chores to ensure that both parties are satisfied and happy.
If your budget allows it, you could hire some outside help.